dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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