He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize