Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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