he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
