He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
