i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
