Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize