Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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