I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
