Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
