Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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