lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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