Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
