I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
