i already hear my dad disowning me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
