If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
