We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
