weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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