That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
