So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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