do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
