I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
