ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
