Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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