I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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