ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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