you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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