i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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