Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
