please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
