who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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