She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
