Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
