I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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