ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
