I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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