How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
