I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
