idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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