mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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