Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry MickSwag hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.

Fav 18 7523 1355
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006

Fav 9 1261 2840
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring

Fav 9 2568 1042
share tweet
(479): View more from Arkansas

Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.

Fav 22 1724 1036
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.

Fav 3 869 1449
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

Fav 5 1381 755
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover

Fav 5 1128 721
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(843): View more from South Carolina

i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again

Fav 0 13 66
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(216): View more from Ohio

You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason

Fav 0 72 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT