It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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