Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
