so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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