1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My feet surprised me
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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