Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
