Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
