is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
