I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
