My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
