Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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