Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
