he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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