So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
