I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I have aggressive nipples.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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