there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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