At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
