I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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