I'm jealous of your bromance
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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