Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
