Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
